Fishing at Ross's pond

Driving Team

I started last week driving team for USX with a Pinson, Al man who is one year older than I. His name is Michael White and so far we are getting along fine. He spent nearly nine years in the USAF and of course I spent quite awhile there myself. We got off to a slow start trip wise. We were sent to Pennsylvania up near Scranton and then to New Jersey across the Hudson from NYC. We spent a day and a half there but when we began to move, we moved fast. We went from New Jersey to Tunnel Hill, Ga., picked up a load of carpet at Dalton and took it to the San Francisco warehouse. We went north from there with a good view of the Golden Gate Bridge. We picked up in Santa Rosa, right in the middle of the Napa valley. We took that load to Mira Loma, Ca., picked up another load at Ontario and headed to Fort Worth, Tx. Big change in the climate. Our truck had a tough time keeping us cool. We delivered this afternoon at Fort Worth and were assigned a load picking up in San Antonio going to Indiana and Kentucky and coming back to San Antonio. Family wise I saw some great pictures. Bry put the pictures of the two quilts she received online. I really enjoyed seeing those. Tavia put her family's June pictures on shutterfly. Great pictures from both girls. I know I have the best looking grandkids of any grandparent. One handsome smart young man and three beautiful intelligent young ladies.

Almost dying

On June 16th, I had a stent put in my right coronary artery. When I went into the hospital, it was because an mra (magnetic resonance artery) had found a renal artery 75% blocked. When I went to my cardioligist, he did an ekg and it turned out abnormal. This allowed him to do an arteriogram. When they went in at the hospital, it was discovered that there was absolutely no blockage in the renal artery, but I had two coronary arteries blocked. One was completely blocked and my heart had grown its own bypass. (Something I did not know the body could do). The other artery, the right was 85% blocked and a stent was put in. None of this hurt and I was in no pain until I got back to ICU. I had to lie for approx. 6 hours on my back without moving. This was OK, except I felt that I needed to urinate constantly (probably because of the dye). About an hour after I got to ICU, I suddenly became flush, broke out in a sweat and my pulse and blood pressure went down to almost nothing. I could see the monitor and the last reading I remember was pulse of 24. Nurses ran in with a crash cart and they started pounding on me and putting stuff in the IV line and one of them was right down in my face telling me to "stay with her". After about 10 minutes, everything returned to normal. Apparently, what happened was either a reaction to medicine they were giving me or a delayed reaction to the procedure itself. What I want to put here are my feelings both during and after what happened. I do not intend for them to be heroic, noble, cowardly or anything except truthful.
When I became flush and everything started down, I remember only that I suddenly felt heavy and tired. As the nurses ran in and I saw the pulse rate go down, I realized I might be in trouble and there was absolutely nothing in the world I could do for myself. I was completely in the hands of God and the nurses. With my personality, this should have panicked me, but I remember the opposite. I was comforted. I think I knew intellectually that I might die, but it didn't scare me. I had peace about it. My life did not run before my eyes, I felt only a momentary regret for things I would miss. Thoughts of leaving Char alone gave me pause, but I knew I had done everything I could to make her life as easy as possible if I were gone for good. I thought of Tavia and Bry and Ryley and Phoebe and Kendall and Lila. I felt a tinge of regret that I would not be in their lives if God took me on, but I felt peace about that as well. I guess what I am trying to say is: I was not ready to die, but I wasn't afraid of it either. I have wondered all my life how I would react in a live or die situation. Would I be heroic or cowardly. I think every man wonders that at one time or another. I have faced enough dangerous situations in my life that I know that I usually do what needs to be done without being either heroic or cowardly, but just being a man. I can't say that until this happened in the hospital that I have actually thought I might die. Afterwards in a few situations, I realized that I could have died, but not at the time. In that ICU, I knew I might die. I had full realizaton in real time and I had peace. That gives me a certain confidence and to repeat myself, a certain peace that I never had before. I saw no white lights, I had no vision of God and no deceased loved ones beckoned me to join them, but I knew without a doubt that if I died, I was going to a wonderful, peaceful place.

Patiently waiting

Feb. 28, 2011 I am sitting in the restaurant of Duke's truck stop in Newcomerstown, Ohio, waiting for my 34 hour restart, which happens at 0130 tomorrow morning. Then, pick up a load of paper and head to Cedar Rapids, Iowa. Lots of rain last night with thunder and lightning. It sounded like the middle of summer. This area's rivers were already out of their banks yesterday before the rain. I imagine last nights rain really overflowed them. I am trying to think of something cute or memorable to write, but not having any luck. I will just sign off and admit I am bored. I did get a 40 minute walk in today.

New Year 2011

Well, it's a brand new year and I am still driving. I looked at some notes I made last year at about this time. I was planning to get off the road. I did try, but to say the least, it has been difficult. Those who have not lost jobs or had reduced income cannot understand what all the fuss is about. I am writing this in Charleston, Tn. I have been out since December 20th. I missed Thanksgiving, Christmas and my anniversary, as well as New Year's. I guess I didn't really miss them, but I certainly was not home for them. Last night, Char cut her finger while slicing lettuce for a salad. A neighbor had to take her to the emergency room where she got 5 stitches and a tetanus shot. She is taking her final exam for Barnes and Noble online work. Has to finish by midnight tonight. I pray she does well. I have put in at least 4 applications today. One has already replied that job had been filled. My fervent prayer is that God will allow me to come home and be with Char this year. I know this sounds like complaining. It really is not. I am thankful for having a job and that we have been able to keep a home. I just don't think it is God's will for Char and I to be alone anymore. I changed fonts. Have no idea how.